By Kathy Harlan
It’s time to get in the attic and drag out the pop-up Christmas tree. It’s the kind with the lights already attached. You just stand up the base and attach branches, color coded for size and location. The branches are flexible so you bend them to their desired location. I put holiday music on the CD player, slice some ready-made cookie dough (bought from a band member next door) and bake it so that there is a home-made aroma, then get out the boxes of mismatched tree ornaments, and voilá, it is Christmas season at this granny’s house.
It is kind of embarrassing to be the non-crafty, non-baker, non-creative kind of grandma at holidays. Sure, I can tell good stories, I am great at ordering gifts over the Internet, and I know where to get anything that is pre-cooked and ready-made for a fabulous holiday dinner. I can write an entertaining Christmas letter to friends all over the country but arranging greenery around a ceramic Fitz and Floyd sleigh is a no-win project. I have 47 gift bags of all sizes that are re-used from season to season and require no Scotch tape or bows.
One year I received a Martha Stewart holiday decorating book. It was like sending a travel brochure to someone in jail – it just doesn’t work. The afternoon dedicated to making a holiday tablecloth – carve designs into potatoes, dip them in ink, stamp them on a linen cloth, singing carols while baking a torte in the oven didn’t quite work out. Think starchy mess. Also, evergreen room freshener does not smell like a tree.
Why do I have to listen to chipmunks chirp, and play that “lords a-leaping” song to be considered in the holiday spirit? Would the Wise Men have stopped by the mall for frankincense and myrrh on the way to Bethlehem? Would they have followed a loaded – down shopper to her camel, and positioned themselves carefully to cut off other camel drivers from getting her parking place? And do I really have to see, once again, that astonished look on Jimmy Stewart’s face when he realizes it really is a wonderful life? Today’s children are paranoid enough without introducing them to visions of Santa Claus watching them every minute of the day and night. However I have, in desperation, used the old “naughty and nice” ploy. Hey, it works! If only the Easter Bunny could also be all-seeing and all-knowing we could stretch this deal out through Spring.
There are things, however, to warm the heart of the klutziest grandma dur-ing the holiday season. My children come over one day in early December and when they leave, little lighted houses sparkle from their tableau atop artificial snow on the piano; the pop-up tree is draped with shiny bows and you can hardly see the pole in the center; the familiar ornaments they made in school many years ago are once again lovingly placed on the plas-tic branches. (The bottom branches, reachable by the grandchildren, have a lot more ornaments than the top ones.) A friend comes by and drapes some greenery in appropriate places; another makes me some fresh bows and brings real cookies; my husband hangs the bedraggled wreath over the fireplace. All is well.
I used to belong to several groups that exchanged gifts. Now, we all combine our gifting money and choose a worthy recipient. This year the Margarita Mamas are purchasing furniture for a shelter for battered women and children. Others donate to the Parkinson’s Foundation research effort in my honor. Dr. Abraham Lieberman, national director of the Foundation says, "With $1 billion, half the cost of a B-1 bomber, we could cure Parkinson's."
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS:
- Walk Through Bethlehem at Clear Lake United Methodist Church. An amazing produc-tion and a must-go for kids and parents alike. December 8, 9 and 10.
- “Messiah.” Spring for tickets to the Houston Symphony production. Then play al-ternative versions on the CD player at home such as “Handel’s Messiah – A Soulful Celebration” featuring Stevie Wonder, the Harlem Boy’s Choir and other gospel singers.
- “The Nutcracker,” performed by the Bay Area Houston Ballet. Change Magazine’s own Dick Gregg fills the role of Baron von Silberhaus. November 30-December 9, UHCL Bayou Theater
- The yearly holiday dinner of my bridge group, The Ladies of the Club. For over 25 years we have shared life’s ups and down across the tables. At Christmas we, of various religions and political persuasions, celebrate with a sumptuous meal. Each person provides a dish according to her cooking skills. I am assigned to bring the wine.
- Setting out the luminarias on Christmas Eve. Through wind and cold (but not rain) our family fills little paper bags with sand and a candle, and just after sundown, we light the candles in this lovely southwest tradition.
- Hand-made tamales on New Year’s Day. (I order pork, beef, spinach and fruit tamales in advance from Robinette and Company.)
“Oh Come, All Ye Faithful.” (Twisted Sister has a heavy metal version but I’ll take tra-ditional.)
Long Christmas and Hanukkah letters from old friends. They get a bad rap but I prefer a letter of any kind over a lone signature.
Mahalia Jackson’s rendition of “Silent Night.”
Fruitcake (no joke!). That legendary fruitcake that makes an endless journey around the world, being re-gifted time after time, has found a home.
Undecorating the pop-up tree is the loneliest of jobs – everyone suddenly disappears when I announce it is time to take the tree down. Just as I planned. I take “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” off the CD player and put on Billy Joe Shaver’s latest and turn it up loud. With a left-over tamale and a glass of red wine at hand, I take off the tattered little ornaments from many years past and carefully wrap them up. Fold up the tree, lights and all, and it is back in the attic until next year.
< Home - Next Article >
|
|
