Out with the Old and In with the New... Neighbors
By Cindy Price
I waited a long time to write this. I had to be convinced - had to be sure - that he was finally gone for good before I could tell this tale. I'm talking about my Weird Neighbor.
They say every neighborhood has one - an odd resident who stands out or who isn't very nice. In former neighborhoods where I've lived there was the "mean guy" who yelled at kids riding their bikes in his driveway; the "toxic guy" who sprayed his grass wearing a face mask and then placed cryptic warning signs in his yard; and the "frog couple" who put frogs and toads in their indoor glass atrium located next to their dining room. Seeing the slimy things while eating at their house made me think of dining at Jabba the Hut's.
But none of these were anywhere close to the antics of the Weird Neighbor who moved in across the street. Here are just a few highlights:
- He didn't mow his lawn. A washing machine, mattress, gas can, bullets, and sacked groceries were among the items left lying in his front yard.
- One summer he threw out raw shrimp in his backyard. The stench was so bad, the health department was called.
- He drove so fast and reckless that everyone kept their cars and children off our otherwise quiet residential street.
- He couldn't drive his SUV up his driveway like everyone else. He kept missing his driveway and continually made deep ruts in the next door neighbor's yard.
- He gave up trying to drive on his driveway so he began driving over the curb to park in his front yard among the trash.
- In a hurry to leave one day, he sped across three front yards before finally getting on the street.
- He didn't bother much to dress, usually wearing a bath towel wrapped around his waist or a raggedy robe all day.
- He would be gone for days and even weeks at a time, leaving his front door open. Concerned neighbors would call the police who would stop by and close his door. Each time we breathed a sigh of relief thinking Weird Neighbor had gone for good. But then he would return home again, arriving late at night in a taxi.
- Taxi drivers would idle in front of his house yelling for payment.
- He started a major house fire, which could have spread to other homes if an alert neighbor (namely me) had not called 911 right away.
We knew as we watched the Weird Neighbor spiral out of control from whatever reason that this situation wouldn't last. And it didn't. After three years he was foreclosed upon and evicted. We hoped and prayed the next neighbor would be a big improvement. I mean, how could anyone be worse than what we'd already experienced?
To our great relief a nice young couple with two sweet children moved in. Our jubilant neighborhood threw a party. What was astonishing was that everyone at the party had their own story to tell about the Weird Neighbor. Some of those stories were:
- The next door neighbor, a business owner, cashed a $200 check at the request of Weird Neighbor, only to have the check bounce.
- Another neighbor told of being awakened at night by Weird Neighbor asking for a ride to the hospital to visit someone.
- One resident reported giving Weird Neighbor a ride to an ATM.
- This prompted another neighbor to report he had loaned Weird Neighbor $60 which was never repaid.
- Six other neighbors told of late night knockings asking for money.
- One neighbor told how Weird Neighbor asked to borrow his phone, only to run up a $90 long-distance phone bill.
The stories went on and on. I noticed a pattern and pointed it out to the new neighbors and to everyone else. "Do you know what I've learned?" I asked them. "I've learned that my neighbors will loan me money, give me rides, cash my checks, and let me use their phone. This is a great neighborhood!"
And so it is once again.
